Raiders of the Loose Bowels (I’m sorry, it’s late)

Hey! You know that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the sword guy shows off fancy moves, then Indy just shoots him? Yeah, that was because Harrison Ford was sick that day, and he didn’t want to have to film a whole fight scene!
-Pat Francis, Never Not Funny #704

I wonder if they met at Molly Ringwald’s barbecue?

Hey did you know the guy who played Jake in 16 candles wasn’t really an actor?*
-Jimmy Pardo, Pardcast-a-thon 2009, Janet Varney segment

*Although this claim cannot be independently verified, I was directly ordered by Mr. Pardo to post it. I take no responsibility for its veracity.

Too many double-entendres to choose from

Did ya know that Sean Penn and Madonna went to Pink’s hot dog stand on their first date?
-Matt Belknap, Never Not Funny #602

Make me up before I go-go

You won’t believe this! Did you know that [Jim Carrey / Mike Meyers /  Eddie Murphy / Roddy McDowell] had to spend [3 hours / 5 hours / 7 hours / bajillion hours] every day getting makeup applied for his role in [The Grinch / Austin Powers / The Nutty Professor / Planet of the Apes]? It’s true!!!
-Matt Belknap, Never Not Funny #604

Albert Einstein is a comedy genius

Hey, did you know that actor/director Albert Brooks, and Super Dave Osborne are brothers? Their real names are Albert and Bob Einstein.
-Submitted by Pat Francis

David Johansen, Part 2

Hey did you know David Johansen (also known as Buster Poindexter) played the cab driver in Scrooged? [Previous David Johansen trivia here.]
-Jimmy Pardo, Never Not Funny #601

Me-sa gonna show everyone how bombad me-sa really is!

Did you know that Jar Jar Binks was played by a black guy?
-Jimmy Pardo, Never Not Funny #525

Can you count to Se7en?

Hey, everybody! Did you know Morgan Freeman was a cast member on the 1970s children’s show The Electric Company? Yeah, he played smooth hipster Easy Reader, hip DJ Mel Mounds, and Vincent the Vegetable Vampire!
-Jimmy Pardo, Never Not Funny #523


Special Pat Francis Edition, Part 1

Hey, did you know that Denzel Washington was on St. Elsewhere?
-Pat Francis, Never Not Funny #523

Special Pat Francis Edition, Part 2

You guys know that Will Smith was on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
-Pat Francis, Never Not Funny #523