Next up, Alice Cooper sings Tiny Tim

Did you know Pat Boone did a heavy metal album?
-Steve Almond, Never Not Funny #705

Raiders of the Loose Bowels (I’m sorry, it’s late)

Hey! You know that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the sword guy shows off fancy moves, then Indy just shoots him? Yeah, that was because Harrison Ford was sick that day, and he didn’t want to have to film a whole fight scene!
-Pat Francis, Never Not Funny #704